And now for something completely different

By Patrick M. Chierichella
Educational Coordinator
The Rose Brucia Educational Foundation

First period, Earth Science Regents, immediately after the bell sounding the beginning of class, over there in the last row, Sam has raised his hand and is calling out, Mr. C! Mr. C! Recognizing the persistence in his tone, realizing it is better to acknowledge him than not, I simply ask, Sam? His reply is one that every teacher past, present and future has heard, does hear, and will hear throughout their careers. Mr. C, this has nothing to do with the topic, but…  

And so it goes, even today.

The Foundation earned its reputation by becoming a resource guide for parents and teachers looking to empower their charges though engaging video lessons and presentations concerning STRANGER SAFETY AWARENESS. The RBEF has been approached about providing similar support regarding internet safety. The concern of parents and schools is understandable. The National Center for Missing and Exploited Children states that one in seven children have been sexually solicited on line. This is a frightening statistic. 1 in 7? Welcome to the online world!

Perhaps this may help.

An online approach by a sexual predator is nothing but a long con game, a psychological grooming of a preteen or adolescent to accept that person’s trustworthiness based on perceptions of mutual attraction, support and caring for one another.

Thomas Reid, an18th century British philosopher, wrote An Inquiry into the Human Mind wherein he stated…people have a disposition to confide in the veracity of others, and to believe what they tell us. This is known as Reid’s Principle of Credulity. The dictionary defines credulity as a willingness to believe or trust too readily; gullibility. Reid saw credulity unlimited in children until they met with instances of deceit and falsehood. According to Piers Benn, an adjunct professor at Fordham University London Centre, We all believe things we should not, and this arises from numerous faulty tendencies, including wishful thinking, fearful thinking, cognitive bias, intellectual incompetence, such as a tendency to misjudge probability. All these sources of error can lead to excessive credence to appearances, which can have deleterious… repercussions. He further notes …if we badly want to believe something, we often end up doing so. We might deliberately fail to look for reasons not to believe it, or place trust in people of whom we have reason to be wary. Much of what a person believes is based upon the word of others since we cannot directly experience everything as Dr. Beth Snow of Simon Fraser University states. We believe lots of things based solely on what others say or write.

Apply this to the issue at hand and a built in tendency to be gulled is evident. Forewarned is forearmed. Here are a few suggestions gleaned from numerous articles and websites.

  • Be involved with your children by asking if they use social networking. Check it out together.
  • Tell your child never to post their full name, address, phone number, school name and other personal information that could help a predator find them. Remind them that photos offer clues as to their location.
  • Supervise your child’s time on the internet.
  • Read and discuss Aesop’s The Wolf and the Shepherd. (A Wolf had been prowling around a flock of Sheep for a long time, and the Shepherd watched very anxiously to prevent him from carrying off a Lamb. But the Wolf did not try to do any harm. Instead he seemed to be helping the Shepherd take care of the Sheep. At last the Shepherd got so used to seeing the Wolf about that he forgot how wicked he could be. One day he even went so far as to leave his flock in the Wolf’s care while he went on an errand. But when he came back and saw how many of the flock had been killed and carried off, he knew how foolish to trust a Wolf). Be hammy. Make a short play of it and give the wolf, shepherd and lamb different voices. Have your child describe the behavior of the Shepherd and the Wolf. Ask your child why the Shepherd was so gullible. Ask if that could happen when a person is using the internet.
  • Make a copy of the diagram at the end of this blog. Follow the instructions about matching the groups to the various circles of interaction that have been drawn. Ask the child to describe what the lessening of color intensity has to deal with safety and trust. Talk about the real distance between people communicating on the internet. Ask your child to say how far away a person using the internet to talk with them is. Use this as a simple image to show that lack of color means you do not have enough information about someone and therefor the site being visited is not safe.

There is no easy answer. Be vigilant, be involved and, as always, Be Safe!

Diagram Something Completely Different

About The Rose Brucia Educational Foundation

Founded by Matthew J. Barbis after his 11-year-old cousin, Carlie Brucia, was abducted and murdered in Sarasota, FL in 2004. The Rose Brucia Educational Foundation’s goal is to reduce the number of child abductions in the U.S. by educating and empowering young minds with the knowledge necessary to avoid abduction. Utilizing puppets and a formalized educational curriculum, the foundation provides elementary-aged children with the Stranger Safety Awareness Program, free of charge. The Rose Brucia Educational Foundation is a 501(c)3 nonprofit organization.

 

 

 

Super Bowl XXXIII

By Patrick M. Chierichella

Educational Coordinator

The Rose Brucia Educational Foundation

David J. Liberman, PhD, in his book, You Can Read Anyone, calls memory an anchor, an association or link between a specific set of feelings or emotional state and some unique stimulus: an image, sound, name or taste.

Do you recall SuperBowl XXXVIII? In what Sports Illustrated reporter Peter King called the greatest SuperBowl of all time, the New England Patriots defeated the Carolina Panthers, 32-29. The game, played on February 1, 2004, was decided on a field goal with four seconds left on the clock. Tom Brady was named the MVP as the Patriots won their second Lombardi Trophy in three years. Replays of the kick would be shown over and over for the next few days. Replays of Janet Jackson’s infamous wardrobe malfunction during the halftime show would be replayed far more often than the game. Remember it now?

Another video replay would also make its way to television sets throughout the country that week. The setting was Evie’s Car Wash on Bee Ridge Road in Sarasota, Florida. People in the community knew that cutting through its parking area allows you to round the corner and save some walking time. Many had done it before; many do so today. Carlie Brucia would not get the chance.

          Video surveillance cameras at the car wash caught a not too clear image of Carlie being grabbed and pulled away by a man dressed in work clothes, his name fuzzily scrawled on a patch on his chest. It is the last picture of this young girl, too easily recalled for family, friends, law-enforcement officials, and interested by-standers who have viewed it online: the young girl being forcibly dragged towards the unknown abductor’s car, an old station wagon, off camera.

If you go online to view or review this video, you cannot but help feel the need to speak out to the child, to shout some warning that danger lies near. Mark Twain wrote that man is like the moon; everyone has a dark side. Masks are part of everyone’s psyche.

We will never know why Carlie walked unaware into mortal danger.

Here’s a question for you: When you look at the world, what do you see? If you are like me, you see a world that is the reflection of you, of all you know and think you know. Did Carlie see any reason to be upset, worried or scared?

William Butler Yeats said, There are no strangers only friends we haven’t met yet. This is a lovely sentiment but begs qualification. Say it to a child, profess its truth and you may place an innocent in harm’s way.

How many of us tell our children to respect adults, adults are in charge, that children owe these people obedience due to their authority? Saul McLeod, in a 2007 article, Obedience to Authority, stated Obedience is a form of social influence where an individual acts in response to a direct order from another individual, who is usually an authority figure. It is assumed that without such an order the person would not have acted in this way. Obedience occurs when you are told to do something (authority). Obedience involves a hierarchy of power / status. Therefore, the person giving the order has a higher status than the person receiving the order.

          So we prepare and reinforce the template for dealing with authority for our children. It is possible that children a) accept as permissible the commands of an adult whether or not they hold a position of authority, b) regard the position held as the reason to obey such a command, or c) base the acceptability of the command on a combination of position of power or just by the person being an adult.

What goes on in the mind of a child? Do you know? I surely do not. Our children, no matter what we think they know, what they tell us, what they keep from us due to fear of disappointing us or from some overwhelming sense of shame, remain deep secrets and mysteries to us.

I believe I read of John Walsh, Adam’s father, saying something like I wish I had taught him to scream instead of worrying about some stranger’s feelings. He further said, Adam’s abduction was our private hell-but it was not an isolated incident. On any given day, any number of children are absent from their homes for diverse and numerous reasons.

The why of Carlie’s behavior remains a mystery. Her fate was a tragedy.

February 1, 2018 is the 14th anniversary of Carlie’s passing.

About The Rose Brucia Educational Foundation

Founded by Matthew J. Barbis after his 11-year-old cousin, Carlie Brucia, was abducted and murdered in Sarasota, FL in 2004. The Rose Brucia Educational Foundation’s goal is to reduce the number of child abductions in the U.S. by educating and empowering young minds with the knowledge necessary to avoid abduction. Utilizing puppets and a formalized educational curriculum, the foundation provides elementary-aged children with the Stranger Safety Awareness Program, free of charge. The Rose Brucia Educational Foundation is a 501(c)3 nonprofit organization.

Nothing More

By Patrick M. Chierichella

Education Coordinator

The Rose Brucia Education Foundation

 

A few years ago I was watching an episode of NCIS. As the episode ended a poignant melody accompanied the images on the screen. I found the name of the song was Nothing More by the band Alternate Routes. In the lyrics of this song I found two lines that struck me as exceptionally potent in their simplicity:

We are how we treat each other when day is done.

We are how we treat each other and nothing more.

I will make some personal assumptions here: that those of you who know of our organization and read our blogs will attest to both these statements; that the vast majority of people in the world believe likewise; and that those who harm children physically and emotionally, those predators, abusers, pornographers who steal a child’s innocence, do not hold to such notions.

It is a sad fact that the narrative in our minds of our children growing up untouched by the ugliness of predatory adults must be tempered by the reality of our kids and grandkids physically maturing more quickly than in generations past, that they can’t stay kids for a longer time. Their bodies may reach maturation more quickly but not necessarily their minds and their emotional states. What pressures they must have as the biologic changes in their bodies outstrip the growth curve of their judgmental processes!

Decades ago education was swamped with various catch phrases that pointed us in new directions: It takes a village…; Top down support for bottom up reform; Just say No!, and Common Core.

In the arena which The Rose Brucia Educational Foundation has chosen to perform, there are some better, stronger phrases that I think applicable, ones that have been around far longer and are time-tested. Our stated goal is to reduce the number of child abductions. Consider these mottos from some of our armed services and how well they apply to our group:

This we will defend. The United States Army

Semper Paratus (Always prepared). The United States Coast Guard

Can do! The Seabees

We could not have better descriptors of our mission and our programs.

We are how we treat each other when day is done, today and tomorrow.

Be Safe!

About The Rose Brucia Educational Foundation

Founded by Matthew J. Barbis after his 11-year-old cousin, Carlie Brucia, was abducted and murdered in Sarasota, FL in 2004. The Rose Brucia Educational Foundation’s goal is to reduce the number of child abductions in the U.S. by educating and empowering young minds with the knowledge necessary to avoid abduction. Utilizing puppets and a formalized educational curriculum, the foundation provides elementary-aged children with the Stranger Safety Awareness Program, free of charge. The Rose Brucia Educational Foundation is a 501(c)3 nonprofit organization.

Warning: Danger, Will Robinson!

By Patrick Chierichella, Educational Coordinator

The Rose Brucia Educational Foundation

Some of us may be old enough to remember the Robot alerting the young Will Robinson to the peril of the week on Lost in Space. Such dramatic warnings are not evident in our everyday life. We are, however, silently blasted by alerts of varying alarm. Electrical devices and appliances all have warnings attached. Our medicines all carry warnings lest litigation is pursued. Leave your home and you might see Beware of Dog signs affixed to fences or gates. Get into your car and you see those lovely yellow signs alerting you to pedestrian crossings, curves in the roadway, numerous situations where caution is urged. Signs in red speak to truly hazardous possibilities on the street. Enter a building and caution is urged because of slippery floors. Signs on doors identify restricted areas. It’s amazing that Stan Berenstain’s Little Bear character was able to say I went to town, not, I’m never going anywhere ever again!

Recently my wife and I went out west and toured through Arizona and Utah, experiencing the wonders of the US National Parks at the Grand Canyon, Bryce Canyon and Zion. The park rangers hand out cards that urge you to

  • Please follow directions from park rangers – it will be for your safety.

 

    • Always remember that wildlife is just that – wild. If an animal feels cornered or trapped, it will protect itself.
  • If you’re heading off for a walk tell a family member of your timings and location.
  • If you are threatened by wildlife – stay calm; keep eye contact; back away; and do not run.

 

These safety alerts further state: Sometimes the best relationship is a long-distance relationship offering suggestions as to appropriate distances to stay from the animal inhabitants of the parks. There are no yellow or red signs to remind you.

For those of you who read our blogs and have seen our school presentations, the melding of these park ranger statements with our stranger safety message is close to 100%. Almost all the above (we, of course, urge any child in a situation with an aggressive or threatening stranger to RUN) can be adapted to our teaching points. Our goal is to empower a child in that particular, singular event when the child finds himself or herself ALONE and feels threatened. We want every child to be able to recall words or phrases that flash yellow warning lights in their brains or red flashing lights accompanied with siren sounds that prompt their bodies’ flight or fight response to the stress of a given situation.

Good teaching never ends. There are always teachable moments. Here are a few to stress about stranger safety awareness.

  • No matter how harmless a person appears, you cannot predict what they will do.
  • If the person changes their behavior as they approach you or seem nervous, stay very far away.
  • Don’t be fooled by flattery.
  • Do not pose for any pictures with a stranger.
  • Never approach a stranger.
  • Give a stranger space.

Our prime purpose in this life is to help others. And if you can’t help them, at least don’t hurt them.  These words of the Dalai Lama are timeless. Would that his message seep into the hearts and souls of those among us who do otherwise to children.

Be Safe!

About The Rose Brucia Educational Foundation

Founded by Matthew J. Barbis after his 11-year-old cousin, Carlie Brucia, was abducted and murdered in Sarasota, FL in 2004. The Rose Brucia Educational Foundation’s goal is to reduce the number of child abductions in the U.S. by educating and empowering young minds with the knowledge necessary to avoid abduction. Utilizing puppets and a formalized educational curriculum, the foundation provides elementary-aged children with the Stranger Safety Awareness Program, free of charge. The Rose Brucia Educational Foundation is a 501(c)3 nonprofit organization.

The Rose Brucia Educational Foundation 2016 Year in Review

By Matthew Barbis, Founder & Chairman

The Rose Brucia Educational Foundation

No matter what accomplishments you make, somebody helped you” – Althea Gibson

As we come to the end of 2016, it is natural to reflect back to the accomplishments of the year – and The Rose Brucia Educational Foundation has accomplished a lot this year thanks to its dedicated staff, volunteer committees, devoted supporters and sponsors!

The year started off strong with the foundation receiving a grant from Nature’s Bounty to film the remaining 22 video episodes to round out the free online program available across the globe. The summer kept us busy with the NYC PS summer program, Girl Scout camps and an important lesson developed as a result of Pokémon Go!.

As soon as filming started, courtesy of Nature’s Bounty, the educational committee, under the direction of Pat Chierichella, went to work on 9 new lessons to correspond to the 9 videos being produced by the volunteer cast members. Please put your hands together to applaud Joe Richetti, Giovanna Richetti, Natalie Pisani, Pat Chierichella, Lorcan Phelan, Cheryl Valentine, Mike Pepe, George Lozides, Craig Toman, Kristen Sullivan, Beverly Lee-Wo, Bobby Fagan, Mike Saidens, Nancy Giffone, Kathy Chierichella, Nick LaGrega, and Roni Yadeska for their fine performances in front of the camera. The 9 lesson plans were the foundation’s most ambitious undertaking since they were written not only to NY State standards for health & safety, but also written to common core standards! Special thanks to Dianne Muro, Nicholas LaGrega, Roni Yadeska, Nancy Giffone, Dawn Kollmer, Lisa Eaton, Lori Medina, Gina Heyder, Mike Pepe, Charlie Comstock, Mike Saidens and Dr. Ben Tieniber for all your effort and guidance with this enormous accomplishment!

The foundation’s 6th annual golf outing was a tremendous success. The hard work and dedication of the 2016 Golf Committee was apparent from the 116 golfers and 130 dinner guests who attended. Special thanks to Karen & Tom Brucia, Kathleen & Robert Chierichella, Patrick & Kathy Chierichella, Charlie & Maureen Comstock, Matthew Colson, Joe Coreno, Dr. Frank Favazza, Michael Gagliardi, Nancy Giffone, Rocky Grasso, Gina Heyder, Dan Kresh, Lori Ann LoRocco, Pat Magri, Jessica McAleer-Decatur, Lorcan Phelan, Mike Saidens, Joseph Schwan, Brian Simonetti, Ben Tieniber, Ron Trotta, CJ Twomley, Ray Kaminek , Cheryl Valentine, and last, but never least, Renee Barbis. We thank our sponsors who support the event to help provide funding for The Stranger Safety Awareness Program.

After the golf outing wrapped, preparations immediately went into the 4th Annual Rose Brucia Car Show under the direction of Joe Coreno & Novak Motors.  Thank you to each and every Novak employee for donating their time and energy to make the day extra special. Thank you Karen Aiello, Amy Baires, Danielle Barberio, Angela Bekker, Elizabeth Brunner, Jeff Cafaro, Dolores Calleja, Frank Cannizzaro, Nicole Capolongo, Raul Caraballo, Michael Castranuovo, Raymond Clinton, Cristian Conde, Dawn Connor, Ryan Coreno, Steven Davis, Amy Doberman, Miguel Escalante, Alex Felicio, Annalea Ferrari, Nicole Gordon, John Gribbins, Gregory Hampton, Dashawn Hurd, Ana Isaza Duque, Stephen Kundla, Raquel Lally, Joseph Messina, Scott Misino, Crystal Nifong, Krishna Patel, Brandon Paulino, Kayla Prass, Jeffrey Rivas, Melina Rosa, Kevin Schiffbauer, Stephanie Tracy, Christina Veltman and Lashanda White for revving up interest and participation in a great event!

October brought us to our Stranger Safety Awareness Week in New York State. The third week in October brought the foundation to over 2,500 students in five school districts locally, averaging two live performances per day for 7 days. It has become a tradition to present in these districts for the last 12 years and we love visiting the students each year.

The foundation’s main vehicle, the online Stranger Safety Awareness Program, which is available to every elementary school, teacher and family across the globe, was downloaded 3,112 times over the course of the year as of December 13th, 2016. The program is being utilized in over 92 countries across the world and is available in two languages, soon to be expanding to four languages.

A very big thank you goes out to the Executive Director of the foundation, Maryann Brucia-Barbis. Maryann keeps operations running on a day-to-day basis and juggles all the projects of the year along with all the visions, plans and goals of the foundation. She handles and oversees every detail of the golf outing, records and thanks every generous donor for each donation received into the foundation and keeps all committees organized. It is an exceptional job performed by an exceptional person.

Finally, to our family, friends, sponsors and donors: we would never be able to have all these exceptional accomplishments without your generosity. Whether you have donated $10 or $10,000, your kindness and philanthropy allows us to drive the program forward, reaching more and more children. We thank you for your support and renew our commitment to reduce child abductions.

Best wishes for a very Happy & Healthy Holiday Season with positive thoughts for a very Happy & Safe New Year ahead!

 

About The Rose Brucia Educational Foundation
Founded by Matthew J. Barbis after his 11-year-old cousin, Carlie Brucia, was abducted and murdered in Sarasota, FL in 2004. The Rose Brucia Educational Foundation’s goal is to reduce the number of child abductions in the U.S. by educating and empowering young minds with the knowledge necessary to avoid abduction. Utilizing puppets and a formalized educational curriculum, the foundation provides elementary-aged children with the Stranger Safety Awareness Program, free of charge. The Rose Brucia Educational Foundation is a 501(c)3 nonprofit organization.

 

 

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