Pokémon NO!

By Matthew J. Barbis, Founder & Chairman

The Rose Brucia Educational Foundation

It seems that Pokémon Go is sweeping the nation. It’s a very entertaining, enthralling game that really brings the world of video games to life. It’s all over the news how this game is causing accidents because the players are losing focus on reality. Let’s take a moment to discuss how this app can become extremely dangerous to our children.

The Rose Brucia Stranger Safety Awareness Program has a goal to increase children’s awareness to their surroundings. It seems that melding reality and gaming is now another blockade to keeping our children alert.

Some tips to share with parents & children:

  1. Agree on the proper times and places that such a game may be played safely.
  2. Discuss the possibility of allowing the game to be played with adult supervision.
  3. Have a meaningful discussion of the consequences of not paying attention to their surroundings, ie. walking out into the street, falling over a curb, tripping into another person, and of course, walking right into the hands of a predator.
  4. Remind children to walk with their heads up and eyes looking all around.
  5. Remember to keep a safe distance from all strangers. Not all strangers are bad, but the ones who want to hurt your children will be looking for an opportunity when they can strike. It only takes an instant to destroy what a lifetime of love has created.

Pokémon Go can be a lot of fun, just remind your children that all fun activities have a time and a place.

Be safe!

About The Rose Brucia Educational Foundation

Founded by Matthew J. Barbis after his 11-year-old cousin, Carlie Brucia, was abducted and murdered in Sarasota, FL in 2004. The Rose Brucia Educational Foundation’s goal is to reduce the number of child abductions in the U.S. by educating and empowering young minds with the knowledge necessary to avoid abduction. Utilizing puppets and a formalized educational curriculum, the foundation provides elementary-aged children with the Stranger Safety Awareness Program, free of charge. The Rose Brucia Educational Foundation is a 501(c)3 nonprofit organization.

What’s Old Is Nothing New

By Matthew Barbis,

Founder & Chairman, The Rose Brucia Educational Foundation

Welcome to 2016! A new year with new possibilities and new directions! Out with the old and in with the new! If only that were the case with attempted child abductions.

As I write this blog on January 12, 2016, there have been 5 child abduction attempts within the last 12 days on Long Island alone. Luckily, they all had one thing in common…they were only ATTEMPTED. In all cases, the children knew not to go with the stranger. If you review every blog I have ever written, you will see a common message over and over again. Speak with your children. Teach them what to do BEFORE a stranger approaches. Check out our free videos. Encourage your local PTA organization to have our free program of videos and already prepared lesson plans added to your elementary school’s curriculum. Repeat those steps over and over. I sound like a broken record (and I want to).

Here is a refresher course for the new year:

Define the word STRANGER: Any person that you do not know.

Advise your child to NEVER trust or go somewhere with a STRANGER.

Discuss with your child that it is ok to speak with STRANGERS because not all STRANGERS are bad – but there is never any reason to go with a STRANGER, no matter their story.

Show your child that a STRANGER may lie to them or try to trick them.

Beware of STRANGERS bearing gifts – remind your child that you rarely get something for nothing.

It’s not about scaring your child. It’s all about educating your child about reality. The world is a wonderful place with incredible possibilities. Let’s limit one of the negative possibilities by giving your child an edge.

Be Safe!

 

About The Rose Brucia Educational Foundation

Founded by Matthew J. Barbis after his 11-year-old cousin, Carlie Brucia, was abducted and murdered in Sarasota, FL in 2004. The Rose Brucia Educational Foundation’s goal is to reduce the number of child abductions in the U.S. by educating and empowering young minds with the knowledge necessary to avoid abduction. Utilizing puppets and a formalized educational curriculum, the foundation provides elementary-aged children with the Stranger Safety Awareness Program, free of charge. The Rose Brucia Educational Foundation is a 501(c)3 nonprofit organization.

Personal Space is very PERSONAL

By Matthew Barbis, Founder & Chairman

The Rose Brucia Educational Foundation

As part of the Stranger Safety Awareness Program at The Rose Brucia Educational Foundation, we pay special attention to defining the concept of personal space. In an effort to properly illustrate the concept, we ask three students from the audience to join us at the front of the room. Once the students are in front of the audience, we then coach them to show the audience, without words, the meaning of the two words: “personal space”.

It is a lot of fun to watch the students ponder the meaning and slowly start to act out their demonstration. Some students point to their feet, others start to flap their arms, while still others start to spin in a circle. Once they have arrived at their wordless definition, we, the instructors, then respectfully invade their personal space in order to drive the point home.

Personal space is defined as the “bubble” around you, fingertip to fingertip as you extend your arms, all the way over your head, behind you and in front of you. It becomes important to list who may be invited into your personal space. Mom, Dad, Grandma, Grandpa, brother, sister, best friend, family pet, school nurse, teacher are a few top choices. This opens the opportunity for the further discussion that strangers must NEVER be permitted to enter this space. Additionally, if a stranger starts to move into that space, your child should be instructed to run, not walk, but run away to create as much distance as possible from that stranger. For these purposes, a stranger is anyone who you or your child have not been formally introduced and anyone that you do not know.

You may use this opportunity to discuss other topics such as good touch and bad touch (a very hot topic that is best introduced by a parent due to its intense personal nature) and physical bullying. As always, these lessons are meant to be thought-provoking and stimulate open communication.

Be safe!

 

About The Rose Brucia Educational Foundation

Founded by Matthew J. Barbis after his 11-year-old cousin, Carlie Brucia, was abducted and murdered in Sarasota, FL in 2004. The Rose Brucia Educational Foundation’s goal is to reduce the number of child abductions in the U.S. by educating and empowering young minds with the knowledge necessary to avoid abduction. Utilizing puppets and a formalized educational curriculum, the foundation provides elementary-aged children with the Stranger Safety Awareness Program, free of charge. The Rose Brucia Educational Foundation is a 501(c)3 nonprofit organization.

Tried and True

By Patrick M. Chierichella, Educational Coordinator

The Rose Brucia Educational Foundation

He checked himself one last time in the mirror. He thought he looked clean-cut. He practiced his smile in the mirror. He practiced looking sad. He knew from past experience this would work; it always worked. He would elicit empathy from his targets. He knew the secret to his success was to incorporate enough truth from his real life into his heart-breaking tale.

He looked at the children. He paused and said, Want to see a picture of my dog?” He had sought an image he felt might engage the children. He found it and several others readily on a shelf of blank note cards.

“Isn’t she beautiful?” he asked the children. He knew the dog really was pretty: a well-groomed golden retriever, seated on its haunches, holding some sort of blue/purple flower in its jaws, the contrast of colors perfectly captured by the camera. He watched as the eyes of the children focused on the photo.

“Her name is Belle,” he said. “Why do you think my wife calls her Belle?” he added. Always throw in the idea of a wife, he said to himself. That family unit thing lets the kids think I’m just a regular guy.

The little girl said, as he hoped, “Because she looks like a princess. Just like Princess Belle.”

He smiled at her. “That’s right. My wife loves the movie Beauty and the Beast. She thought Belle would be a great name for our dog.” He paused to let that sink in. He needed to paint a more complete mental picture of “his dog” for the kids. He took what he thought of as qualities of dogs he had owned or friend’s had owned or ones he had read about. He knew to keep the photo of the dog front and center, not to break the kids’ attention on “his precious pup.”

“Belle is a great dog,” he continued. Smile, he thought. Don’t forget to smile. “Why, she would want any one of you pet her. You would be her new best friend. She is so gentle my wife takes her to nursing homes to visit some people once a week. Belle even goes to hospitals to see children who are sick. She makes them smile. She even likes to sit down and have those children read to her. When she leaves, she wags and wags her tail and gives each child a big wet kiss. Can you imagine?” He watches as the children bob their heads in agreement. Now, he thought, now for the real heart tug.

“Belle has one problem, though.” Start frowning, he said to himself.  “She is very afraid of loud noises. She is really a scaredy cat with them. She can’t stand thunder. She runs and hides in my closet or in the bathtub when there is loud boom. Fireworks? Oh my, oh my! Fire crackers make her run around in circles, looking for somewhere to hide.” Look sad now. “Yesterday, my wife and I had Belle groomed. She looked so sweet. Our friend asked us to bring her over so she could see her. We put Belle out in our friend’s yard. A couple of fire crackers went off next to the fence. Belle got very frightened, jumped at the gate. It opened and she ran out. By the time we got outside we couldn’t find her. My wife was in tears. I’m going to go look for her.” Now set the hook. “Would you like to help me bring Belle home? I’ll give you a reward.”

The children said, “Yes!”

This storyline is one we have developed at the Foundation for our school presentations. Imagine this done in front of 100 or more children at a time. Now consider the fact that we get almost unanimous response from the students when we ask for their help. As one teacher gasped when she saw the terrifying agreement to help a stranger, “I can’t believe it. We talk about this all the time. I can’t believe they fell for it.” Fall, they do!

According to a news report, the abduction of the two Amish girls in Oswegatchie, NY, was facilitated by the abductors having a dog in their car.

Go over the story with your children or wards. Emphasize the need for your child to stay more than an arm’s length from a stranger, never to approach a stranger’s car for any reason, never to accept any handout or gift from someone they do not know. Practice and instill in your child the first response you want from them when they are approached by a stranger-he/she must get home, get to somewhere safe, where there is a trusted adult.

School’s open. These lessons do not require textbooks or manuals. The only requirement is that we talk to the children about these issues, any time, any place.

Be safe.

About The Rose Brucia Educational Foundation

Founded by Matthew J. Barbis after his 11-year-old cousin, Carlie Brucia, was abducted and murdered in Sarasota, FL in 2004. The Rose Brucia Educational Foundation’s goal is to reduce the number of child abductions in the U.S. by educating and empowering young minds with the knowledge necessary to avoid abduction. Utilizing puppets and a formalized educational curriculum, the foundation provides elementary-aged children with the Stranger Safety Awareness Program, free of charge. The Rose Brucia Educational Foundation is a 501(c)3 nonprofit organization.

The Non-Profit Voice Interview – Rose Brucia

Catch up on the latest happenings and learn some of the history behind The Rose Brucia Educational Foundation during the latest radio interview of The Non-Profit Voice with Founder & Chairman, Matthew Barbis and Educational Coordinator, Patrick Chierichella.

 

 

About The Rose Brucia Educational Foundation

Founded by Matthew J. Barbis after his 11-year-old cousin, Carlie Brucia, was abducted and murdered in Sarasota, FL in 2004. The Rose Brucia Educational Foundation’s goal is to reduce the number of child abductions in the U.S. by educating and empowering young minds with the knowledge necessary to avoid abduction. Utilizing puppets and a formalized educational curriculum, the foundation provides elementary-aged children with the Stranger Safety Awareness Program, free of charge. The Rose Brucia Educational Foundation is a 501(c)3 nonprofit organization.

Frazz-matazz

By Patrick Chierichella, Educational Coordinator

The Rose Brucia Educational Foundation

Part of my youthful morning routine was always reading the funny pages in my family’s daily newspaper. Today, I do this on my computer. My server gives me the chance to peruse many strips not carried by my own daily. (I know, I know! You mean you ACTUALLY still get your news the old fashioned way? Well, partly, at least. See, dinosaurs are not really extinct!)

One such strip that I now read consistently is drawn by Jef Mallett. It is called Frazz. The character is a young school custodian who interacts with students and faculty. The Halloween panels show us a teacher and her student nemesis disagreeing about what makes a piece of literature a classic.  The student says he bases his Halloween costumes on classic stories. For this year he chose a short story. The teacher snorts that its length prevents it from being a classic. Caulfield, the student, tells the teacher, Classic isn’t how long it takes to read. Classic is how long it takes to forget.

Carlie Brucia died on February 1, 2004 at age 11. The moment is relentlessly approaching when the time since her passing will consistently grow beyond the duration of her days with us. We experience this in all our lives. For Carlie’s family and friends, for all children and loved ones taken by violence, the tragedy remains anchored to their souls and psyches. I remember this line from a song: There is a silence only they can hear.

The 1957 Chevy is classic. The World Series is referred to as The Fall Classic. The car was produced in only one year. The World Series can last anywhere from 4 to 7 games. It is all about what resides in our memories.

Carlie and the other child victims of brutality should not ever become mere statistics. They never grew to establish their voice.

I never heard the sound of Carlie’s voice. I choose to believe that through the efforts of our group the innocence and beauty of her soul is still evident. I believe, as described by Jef Mallett, she is classic.

 

About The Rose Brucia Educational Foundation

Founded by Matthew J. Barbis after his 11-year-old cousin, Carlie Brucia, was abducted and murdered in Sarasota, FL in 2004. The Rose Brucia Educational Foundation’s goal is to reduce the number of child abductions in the U.S. by educating and empowering young minds with the knowledge necessary to avoid abduction. Utilizing puppets and a formalized educational curriculum, the foundation provides elementary-aged children with the Stranger Safety Awareness Program, free of charge. The Rose Brucia Educational Foundation is a 501(c)3 nonprofit organization.

Imagine This: Part 4 and final lesson of 4

By Patrick Chierichella, Educational Coordinator

The Rose Brucia Educational Foundation

R-E-S-P-E-C-T! Something that’s given or is it earned? Adults develop many ways of defining and bestowing respect on others. For children, it is more than likely to be a question of responding to an adult’s authority.

Childhood is a time when we see such tremendous changes in a child’s size, strength, agility, thinking skills, and socialization.

According to Marlene Dalley, “Most abductors are usually highly skilled in the art of manipulation. More simply expressed, in order to be successful, they must lower the children’s inhibitions or make them afraid of the consequences if they do not comply”.

In Missing Children: A psychological approach to understanding the causes and consequences of stranger and non-stranger abduction of children, James N. Tedisco, an Albany area New York State assemblyman and psychologist Dr. Michele Paludi wrote, “They (abductors) use seduction techniques, competition, peer pressure, motivation techniques, and threats to get children to comply with their requests to engage in sex, steal, abuse drugs, or participate in prostitution or pornography”.

Further, they write, “Children often believe that they can easily identify an abductor –someone who is sinister and offers ‘goodies’ . . . children are taught to respect adults, especially adults’ authority, and to only talk to people who look ‘nice’.  Children that are more vulnerable to stranger abductions are the quiet, thoughtful ones; children who appear to have special and intense needs for adult affection and approval”.

Psychology professor at Nicholls State University, Dr. Monique C. Boudeaux’s research has included child abduction and homicide, and child victimization. In a 2001 article she noted, “Child victimization appears to be quite dependent on the age of the victim and the motivation of the offender. Offenders generally select victims that hold some kind of significance to them…Routine activities most often bring potential victims and offenders together. Crime is most often a result of interactions between motivated offenders, available targets, and lack of vigilant guardianship to prevent crime . . . often, it is this vulnerability, coupled with ease of access that is apparent to offenders and serves to elevate their interest in children as desirable prey”.

Dr. Boudreaux writes of John Walsh saying he wished both he and his wife had “spent more time encouraging my son (Adam) to respect his safety instead of respecting adults’ authority”. Further he says, “If I had taught him to scream, he might be alive now.”

Obviously, research shows that these predators do their homework. We just have to do ours better.

Imagine This! Part IV: I Can’t Believe How You Have Grown!

You paint this picture for your child: Playing in front of our house or just down the block, you hear someone (a man or a woman) call out to you. You hear your name and look at the person. You see they are neatly dressed. The person calls out your name again, smiles at you while shaking his/her head slowly side to side. You hear, “It is you. My, you have gotten so big. I can remember when your father called to tell me how proud he was to be a daddy. And your mom? She told me how she cried happy tears when she held you for the first time.” The person walks closer and closer to you.

These are a few questions to discuss with your child:

  • What is your first reaction to hearing your name and our names? Do you stop to listen to the person?
  • Since they know your name, do you talk with them?
  • Since they know my name, do you talk to them?
  • What if the person tells you he/she is looking for our address?
  • What is mirroring?
  • What is personal space? How big is your personal space?

It is a truly worrisome to realize that in this day and age a parent needs to take time to develop a stranger safety awareness strategy for his/her family. I hope these few scenarios have helped underscore your own awareness philosophies.

Be Safe!

About The Rose Brucia Educational Foundation

Founded by Matthew J. Barbis after his 11-year-old cousin, Carlie Brucia, was abducted and murdered in Sarasota, FL in 2004. The Rose Brucia Educational Foundation’s goal is to reduce the number of child abductions in the U.S. by educating and empowering young minds with the knowledge necessary to avoid abduction. Utilizing puppets and a formalized educational curriculum, the foundation provides elementary-aged children with the Stranger Safety Awareness Program, free of charge. The Rose Brucia Educational Foundation is a 501(c)3 nonprofit organization.

 

 

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